Thursday, September 01, 2005

Are "The Police" Stupid, Or What?

Today was like a Friday for those of us at the office, since we're closed in the a.m. for a long Labor Day weekend. And, of course, it was another wonderful day in the field of criminal defense.

First off, I spent most all day fielding calls from a particular client wondering if/when the DA was going to agree to a PR bond on a Motion to Revoke/Motion to Adjudicate, and if/when the judge would sign off on it. Client has some serious mental and physical problems due to circumstances unrelated to his charges, and he calls at least twice a day when nothing's going on, and dozens of times over the past week. Finally, everything was OK'd and we set up his turn-in for after the holidays.

Second, I got several calls from prospective clients which made me wonder, "What the hell is wrong with the police?" And, by police, I mean "Law Enforcement" in general.

The first call, the lady literally blurted out, "My son is charged with burglary of a habitation and he didn't do it because he was home watching TV with me and the Sheriff's office said they would drop the charges if he takes a polygraph. Should he take one?" The first thing I blurted out was "EXCUSE ME?" and then, "You're going to need a lawyer, even if your son is innocent, because this is not something you should try to work through on your own." Sadly, the whole episode was in a county our office doesn't practice in, so I referred her to a good attorney who does.

Second, a call comes in about a juvenile case. Believe it or now, the juvenile authorities in our county think that people they tell are being charged with a crime will want to come in and "discuss this matter, make a statement to an officer, and discuss terms of detention and/or supervised release."

Hello, if you're being charged, you'd be stupid to do this. Furthermore, half of the time the juvie authorities around here tend to try to do things that would constitute an improper delegation of powers; I won't even go into that, as it would take forever.

Aside from all that, I've got to be ready for a trial for another attorney next week who I am performing some expert witness services for. I analyze video, enhance photographs and all that jazz. Though the case is 34th on the trial docket, I'm sure, with my luck, it will be first by Tuesday morning. What suit to wear?

Oh, and I'm investigating a particular matter on another pending case for our office...can't go into details, obviously, but I've secured a bunch of records that show the cop likes to view porn, falsify reports/police records, and have sex with 16-year-old girls. Of course, I'm telling The Attorney all of this and his eyes are bugging out of his head. "How did you find all this out?" Well, it was pretty simple, actually...all in "public records." Of course, you have to know exactly how to ask for them and what to ask for...someting I've been doing since I was editor of my high school newspaper. Not to brag, but investigating stuff is something I'm very good at. Luckily, in our state, investigators working for attorneys don't have to have a license. In fact, I was told by the state agency regulating all this (and the lady may have been wrong) that if you are licensed, you have to work for another licensee for x-number of years and then work on your own or at an agency, b/c you can't do work for others unless you are employed by them full time.

At any rate, I guess that's all for now...